When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to become an astronaut when I grew up. I'm not exactly sure why, because that job would terrify me now! I can't imagine leaving my friends and family here on Earth, to risk my life going up into space. Astronauts are some brave people. I think when I was about 5 years old, I learned about space in class. We had a song to remember all the planets, "Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars, these are the planets above the stars. Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus too, Neptune, Pluto, now we're through…" That song was such a great tool for me to memorize the planets, even if Pluto isn't included anymore.
In primary school, there were several jobs I considered. The coolest job I considered, and I considered it strongly, was becoming a spy. In my free time, my best friend and I would create secret codes, and missions, and go on spying adventures. Whenever the Scholastic Catalog came around at school, I wouldn't search for books. Rather, I would search for spy gear, such as listening devices and sunglasses with built-in mirrors to see behind me. Surprisingly, my parents actually let me get them! I realized becoming a spy was not very realistic, but maybe a Scientist or an Archaeologist was. I used to love setting up science experiments and building science-y things. With my dad, I built a solar powered bug-type-creature. On a sunny day, I extracted the water from a bowl of orange juice using plastic wrap, a cup, and a rock. It worked, too! I enjoyed my Science Fair projects, but probably because my dad helped me with a lot of them. He's always been into techy gadgets, and pretty good with science. Despite my science kits and science experiment books, I still wasn't satisfied. In fourth grade, when it came time to record, once again, what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wrote down archaeologist. That was a spur of the moment decision, and I think I would hate digging in the sweltering hot. At least it made for a cool portfolio cover design…
Since primary and elementary school, my teachers haven't put much stress on me as to what I want to be when I grow up, which has been just fine with me. Unlike my sister, who knows she wants to become a teacher, or my dad whose passion is in avionics, I never really knew what I wanted to do with my adult future. But now that I'm a Senior in high school, that question has been coming up more than it has in the past. Filling out college applications, I'm asked to write my intended major. I can always say that I am undeclared, but I've decided that majoring in Business would be a practical choice. I consider myself a left-brained person, so I'm decently logical and analytical. Math and Science are my strong points in comparison to English and History. With that information, I think I would do great in Business. Plus, I like people, which is good, because I'm 99.99% sure I'll be working with other people in some shape or form.
Even though I now have a plan that I like, I still don't have a scholastic subject that I am passionate about. I've looked at majors offered by colleges, but have yet to see one and think, "That's the one! This is what I was made for!" Not having a dream job has discouraged me often. So many times I have wished I was passionate about just one thing, so that my future would be clearer. That, and I convinced myself that I'm not exciting, because there's not one specific job, or sport, or musical instrument, or hobby that makes me feel alive.
I feel most alive when I'm with people doing something that matters. I can be laughing with a friend, or sharing my faith with strangers. I thrive upon both. I also feel most alive when I'm thinking about, or discussing something deep, something without absolute answers.
So, I guess I don't know what I'll do when I "grow up". I still don't have a dream job, but I plan on enjoying the process that leads me to where I'm meant to be. It's kind of exciting this way; it's exciting not knowing where I'll be in 10, or even 5 years from now.
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